Marriage is a lot of hard work as those who are married know very well. Mama simply told us to choose well, with heart and mind open. She used to say sometimes you get lucky and sometimes you don’t and the prince is really a frog, as she shared stories about bad marriages too.
My friend, Mayang, said that marriage is a verb, not a noun and I couldn’t agree more with her. These are my thoughts on a 14 year old marriage that is far from perfect and one that’s been constant through the good, bad, and ugly.
A good marriage is a partnership and both parts are important to the equation.
A good marriage can hopefully withstand a bad deck of cards, pick up the pieces, and move forward.
A good marriage is truthful, allows room for mistakes, forgives, and starts over. There are many let’s start over in a good marriage, I think.
A good marriage is selfless. It volunteers to scrub the toilet and buy medicines in the dead of night, even as it grumbles. 🙂 It doesn’t keep score of who has done more for the other.
A good marriage celebrates the cheesy and corny, even in a small way, and marks milestones. It is appreciative and does not take things for granted.
A good marriage is sensitive. It knows needs and wants and gives willingly and happily. It is never stingy.
A good marriage agrees and disagrees. It listens without a ready rebuttal or judgment.
A good marriage respects differences as each one of you grows up. It supports you to be your best self.
A good marriage gives you your own cheering squad and you can trust that someone has your back.
A good marriage spends a lot of time together to talk and thresh things out. Sometimes to chill, sometimes to plan on how to navigate life.
writingthatcouldbeunderstood 
March 24, 2014 at 8:35 am
Wow, it’s been 14 years?!!